Once upon a time in a land close, close by – Joburg, South Africa to be exact – lived a gal named DG.
DG grew up feeling anxious to the closing theme song on ‘Carte Blanche’, on a Sunday night (like everybody else), eating pizza at Pizza Hut and Kentucky fried chicken’s mash potato with gravy and that coleslaw. She watched ‘Dirty Dancing’, ‘Pretty woman’ and ‘The Bodyguard’ approximately three times each (three hundred – more like) and she liked to not only ‘Walk on Sunshine’ but also ‘Walk like an Egyptian’ (to Caesars Palace) which was in ‘Paradise City’ (aka Braamfontein city)
DG wore bodysuits, banana clips, perms and leg warmers (unfortunately) and grew up with no iPads, no cell phones and no Face Book. DG loved to listen to stories when she was really little and was (like most little gals) especially enthralled with two parts of the content of a book. The first part was the bit that stated that at some point in life, fair maidens get rescued by a prince (usually on a horse and not formally known as anyone) and the second was that once she has been saved…they (of course) live happily ever after…. (All together now) ‘aaaaaaaaaah!’
DG who was (and still is) a romantic at heart, had the foolish but entrenched from birth notion that Fairytales somehow translated into real life. DG wanted to and believed that she would meet her prince, have her poofy white wedding dress, and be happy and in love forever. Strangely enough, DG’s parents were divorced, but such things (for no exact or logical reason) would not happen to DG.
And then they did. DG was so shocked that she was going to actually land up getting divorced (gasp) that she lived in the Twilight zone (unfortunately without vampire Edward or werewolf Jacob – oops wrong Twilight) for many months, as her bizarre reality penetrated her psyche.
DG had a serious childhood infection – a severe case of Fairytale-alitis. Yes, dear reader, DG had been brain washed into believing (or is it beliebing) that all the crap in all the stories, movies and songs was part of the deal.
It took DG a while to realize that the seven dwarfs were actually called Horny, Gassy, Cranky, Stanky, Repulsive, Chlamidia and Bob.
She only realized later in life that when Mary Poppins spoke of ‘a spoon full of sugar’, she meant a spoon full of anti depressant and that Cinderalla’s pumpkin pie was not Banting friendly.
So without wanting to sound like a bad love song, DG slowly learned that life is not a fairy tale. There is no magic recipe for happiness, shit happens and we need to learn how to rescue ourselves a lot of the time. DG was mistakenly programmed along with many in her generation to believe that if we didn’t get the happy ending, then we have failed, but like a quote that I love says, ‘maybe it’s not about the happy ending, maybe it’s about the story’.
DG is now cured from Fairytale-alitis thanks to a potent and hard to swallow medicine from a bottle labeled ‘getting divorced’. The directions on the bottle Read as follows ‘Try to create within your new story a little (or hopefully, a lot) of happiness on every page by letting go of the past, enjoying the present and having great expectations for the future. Oh and after reading this and carefully following instructions – eat chocolate ; ) ‘