It is inevitable that once you become a Divorced Gal, people suddenly start deciding that you ought to begin dating. I’m of course not talking about when you are in the pits of hell and grieving and walking around looking worse than death, with unshaven legs and neglected highlights. I’m talking about after that, when you start living again and looking vaguely back to normal.
For some of us Divorced Gals, we have been on the ‘D diet ‘ and have lost a few kilos from the stress of the divorce. Those are the gals that feel nauseous from anxiety and struggle to swallow much food for a while. You will know if you are one of those, because people have commented about how thin you have become. Or ask ‘how have you lost so much weight?’. You will have heard “Lucky Bitch”, behind your back or sometimes to your face. You look fairly gaunt (not a sexy look) and start squeezing your butt into skinny jeans that you last wore many moons ago.
For others of us, we have packed on several kilos from the ‘Comfort my sad ass diet’ and our boobs are looking sexier than ever and deserve to be fully flaunted! We ain’t that happy with our more Kardashian size backsides, but hey, it’s called survival and if it’s cake and pasta that helps you survive, you gotta do what you gotta do!
Either way, whatever your shape or size, there comes a time, when you realize that you are going to have to face the world again as a single person and begin to get your act together, appearance wise (and shave your legs more than once every two weeks). This is a flipping terrifying prospect. Your self esteem is of course not exactly rocking after your marriage has ended and even the thought of speaking to a suitor on the phone, seems pretty daunting.
Then……there is Facebook (FB). When ever someone is mentioned to you as a potential guy to ‘at least meet and have coffee with’, you have this tool of stalking right in the palm of your hand. And what’s even worse…..they can do exactly the same with you. Enter….the selfie. Oh boy, getting just the right pic for your profile is a fine art. Some gals pout, show too much cleavage and wear contact lenses that are bluer than blue. Or a photograph from ones youth is dug out and it’s like ordering steak that is ‘medium rare’ and getting one that is more than a tad ‘well done’!
And when one of your prospective coffee dates, has no photograph at all, anywhere..on their FB page…you start to get mighty suspicious. It’s like WHO has no pic that they are willing to display?
The added dimension of FB to the dating world, makes getting back out there, after many years of marriage, like trying to enter a beauty pageant, just after giving birth. A bizarre comparison, you say? No way! After giving birth, that pregnancy glow is gone, you are sore in places that I cannot mention (from being screwed in your divorce, not having a baby) and you feel like you may never recover your pre hormonal nose shape or figure ever again.
Then….there is a whole other part of your life that complicates things even more. The inevitable….“So, how many kids do you have?”…..Yup, any man that you may date, is not only dating you, but your whole life and your precious offspring. My question after the number of kidlets that one has, is very politically incorrect, so if you are easily offended, stop reading now!
“Is your mother still alive????”. There is no discreet way to slip that one out into the open. But after surviving the death of my marriage, my skin is about as thin as an elephants foot callous. So yes, I have asked it…. Why am I so interested in the answer and how have any potential dudes to date taken my raw honesty…..well, I’ll let you know in part two of my Dating Diaries. You will also find out if I have been on a date yet and if I did, what I wore and where we went…..sorry I ain’t telling you now, but Divorced Gal has plans tonite….. ; )
Lots love and strength (and decent selfies)
Divorced Gal xxx