I met Wendy Miller, a 38 year old attorney over a cosy cup of coffee and I left all the richer for spending time with my first special make-over gal. ????
She has been divorced for 4 years and has one precious little son.
Wendy is bubbly and inspirational in so many ways, despite all the hardship that she has experienced!
She oozes an unassuming sexiness and has an inner light that simply radiates from within!
Pearls of Wendy wisdom…………
“Divorce changed me dramatically. Ironically the changes have been for the better and have made me into the person that I am now.
My mom is terminally ill with cancer and I realize that my divorce equipped me to deal with what I am going through with losing my mom…….
Of course when we get married we think it’s going to be forever…….I imagined that if ever I got divorced, I would fall apart and crumble. Instead, on reflection, my divorce brought out a strength, that I never knew I had. It’s strange because we see life through keyholes and only after something that we perceive to be negative has passed, can we see the bigger picture and reasons for why it was part of our life story. I believe for sure that parting from my ex husband, was a divine gift for preparing me for this chapter of my life.
When I was going through the pain of divorce, of course I couldn’t see anything positive. I had many, many nights of lying in bed and crying. I felt so much guilt because of my son, and the fact that he would come from a ‘broken home’……..He was only 3 at the time…….I also looked within to see what my part was in the breakdown of my marriage. I think that is important. I had a lot of self-blame and feelings, of not being ‘good enough’,……which I have worked through and overcome……..I know everyone’s situation is different and sometimes there may only be one spouse at fault or one that is more at fault.….but in my case, I chose to rather introspect and grow……
I went into survival mode, during that difficult time…,,driven by my desire to make things good and stable for my son…….and I used the support of my parents and brothers and friends to help me. I was fortunate, because I was able to move in with my parents. I still stay with them, but with my mom so sick, I am the one that runs the home and it’s now me offering them the gift of nurture that they gave me growing up and through my divorce.
My mom is the strongest person that I know……….
I decided that I did not want to lie down and die, even though I was parting from the man that I loved and have known since I was 16. I recently acknowledged that I was not only mourning for our marriage and closeness, but also for the dreams that I had had for our future, and what could have been……but one moves past that grief and builds new dreams…….
What I want to share with any woman who is going through divorce or in a bad place of any kind, is that
‘Everything bad, comes to an end!’…..I have witnessed that time and time again in my life…..It will not be this way for ever…..hold onto that thought……
I battled to fall pregnant…….then after that struggle, I went through Post Natal depression, which I thankfully overcame.
A year after my divorce, I nearly died from an illness and landed up in ICU…..which then gave me Post Traumatic Stress Disorder…..
A year later, my mom was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer and then went through the difficult time of chemotherapy…….
It was all hard……..
(Laughing) I try so hard to moan but really I just can’t! I realize how blessed I am and how much worse it could have been and could be.
I am so grateful for having a roof over my and my family’s heads and private care for my mom……other people have it sooooo much worse……..I value little things like having electricity…….and that hospice comes to see my mom at home…….
Funny, gorgeous ‘Wendy-isms’ that had me grinning, laughing, high fiving and hugging!!
“I like to think I can dance. My friends say Wendy you are not moving with the beat of the song and I’m like no way….what do you mean????……I’m killing it!!!……Madonna has nothing on me …..I just can’t sing”
“My best advice?…..tequila!!! No just kidding!!!! I mean vodka !!”
“What am I looking for in a man? Brad Pitt!!! ……. No actually Angelina Jolie (ROFL) no seriously, I find intelligence very sexy! I also value compassion and empathy….. And COMPETENCE!!!……I would like to have a partner in life but I also love fun with my friends..….so he would need to come and have fun with us!!”
When I told Wendy how magnetic and attractive she is as a woman and person :
“I don’t know why Naomi Campbell got all the attention. Shit that shows my age! Should I rather say GiGi Hadid??”
Some cool things about Wendy :
Wendy was once a police reservist!
Wendy plays pool for fun!!
Wendy has a group of friends, girls and guys that she goes out with once a week to ‘just let go’, and they are called ‘The get-along gang’ !!!
Wendy loves hot baths….me time….. Coffee…..chocolate and living life to the fullest!!!!
I could barely tear myself away from my coffee date with this gal. She made me feel energized and her positivity is contagious!!
My team of angels and I are going to have the best fun, giving this already beautiful gal a new look! One thing is for sure!!!!! This gal has got it going on!!!!!!!
Can’t wait to show you how we match the outside of this lovable lady to her magnificent inside!!
Lots of love and strength
Divorced Gal xxx